Saturday, 12 May 2018

No Comment

I'm home for a bit now, just for one night. But hey, I'll take it.

I sat for a paper this morning. It was just a mid-term exam but it's still exam. And it kinda gave me the chills for finals, which is in three weeks' time. I'm having a hard time catching up with some courses so it's pretty stressful. But I'm trying my best to go through it. As long as I try my best, right?

Also, my skin was getting better a couple weeks ago. And then it suddenly acted up again. I'm not doing anything else different so I'm pretty sure the stress is the culprit. I'm telling you. I'm at home now and I can feel my pimples are calmer. IT'S SO WEIRD. But it's true. I've read so many articles and even my doctor told me that if you're stress, it can just make your hormones go crazy and it will show on your face. So, I'm just gonna be patient and wait till exams are over. There's nothing much I can do really. It's either skin or exams :(

So, yeah. That's a little update from me. Till next time.



Ayu

Wednesday, 25 April 2018

Life So Far #8

Finals in a month's time! Where did all the time go?!

So..mid term exams have been half okay and half not. Not even joking. Therefore, I really need to kick ass on assignments/tutorials/exercises and FINALS OF COURSE.

Skin? Yes, skin. It's getting better!! I'm so glad. Not fully healed, nu-uh. Not yet. But I am going to my next appointment in a few days to check on my skin's progress and all that jazz. I will let you guys know how my skin is improving (or not but I really hope it will continue to improve) because I took pictures when it all started until now. Some people might think this sounds exaggerating but I had a really hard time when my skin started 'exploding'. You wouldn't know how it feels unless you've went through it yourself.

I guess that's it for now. So yeah. Expect some pictures soon about ze skin etc.



Ayu

Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Second Semester - Life So Far #7

It’s the second semester already and I can’t tell whether I’m still trying or just avoiding. Making friends has never been so difficult, terrifying and tiring at the same time. As every day passes by, it gets more and more difficult. I try to fight it but I just can’t open my mouth and say something. Just something.

I think I’m just scared. I know. Scared of making friends and building relationships with them. What if what happened a few years ago, happens again? What am I going to do? I don’t want to feel miserable again. Depressed. Out of place. Deserted. Being in the situation that I’m in right now is not any better but I know, at least I’m not going to feel hurt again.

Feeling neutral and being plain. That’s me being comfortable now. I’m not ecstatic but I’m just okay. I’m managing.

On the bright side, I’m always trying to make myself believe that I still have that confidence I once had. To be honest, it looks and feels kind of fake. But I need to go through the day. If I can just feel and look confident going to class today, I’ll be fine. But it has been pretty rough since I got back here a couple of weeks ago. My face was acting up drastically and I made some research. It’s not the usual pimples. It’s cystic acne and it’s bad.

I have so much to be grateful for. But it doesn’t make it any easier to go through the day at uni with no friends and having skin issues. I really, really don’t like feeling sorry for myself. I hate it. All of these things going on, I’m tired of it. I really miss the old me. I need her back. I just need her, to come back.

Ayu